For Your Consideration -- Thanks

If there is one trait our son (and any future children we may have) seems certain to get from his parents, it's a nasty contrarian streak. Hilary is hard to convince to do anything -- she likes to come to decisions on her own. As for me, I am always questioning why things are done a certain way, and wondering whether a better option might be available.

This is relevant to today's blog post, because I have a been stewing on something for a couple years, and I think it's finally time to spill the beans.

It is time to stop writing thank-you notes.

Have I lost you already? Bear with me. By no means am I saying I want to stop thanking people for giving me (or anyone in my family) gifts. They are certainly not necessary, but certainly ARE appreciated.

No, what I want to do is revolutionize the WAY in which we thank people for their thoughtfulness.

Let's get real here. While there are exceptions to this rule, most thank-you notes are a waste of everyone's time. In the case of weddings/bar mitzvahs/babies, there are typically so many to write that they all become boiler plate:

Dear Gift giver,

Thanks so much for the egg-slicer/fountain pen/woobie. It will really come in handy when we want to make tuna salad/stab a bad guy/figure out what the hell a woobie is. Hope all is well with you!

Love,
Gift receiver

It's poor form, but at the same time, so many do it this way that most people barely glance at the thank-you notes they receive, simply because their expectations are so low.

This may not matter too much when you are thanking people for wedding gifts, but from what we are told once our baby comes we will be short on time for everything we need to get done.

Which is why, at the risk of dealing yet another blow to our already-beleaguered postal service, I unveil my plan to the world:

Skype-you notes

Did I just blow your mind?

Here is how it works: instead of going through the motions of writing a half-hearted note that people will discard and forget immediately, we will set up a time to Skype with the people we want to thank. In this way, we can thank them for their gift in person, and, as a total value-add, they will actually get to SEE THE BABY, otherwise known as the whole reason they got us something in the first place.

That's win-win right there, people. You get the same gratitude for your kindness as before, only now you get a smiling (or, more likely, vomiting) baby instead of three or four completely forgettable sentences.

I realize the elderly not everyone is armed with the latest in technology*, so for those who don't have video Skype as an option, we will still pursue the old fashioned method**.

*Though there is probably a public library very close to your home. I'm just saying.

** Also we will do this if Hilary does not see eye-to-eye with me on this topic. But she should, because I am right.

It's the 21st century. It's time to stand up to the Stationary Industrial Complex. Technology has already allowed us to get rid of landlines, books, and having to face awkward stares at adult video stores. It can do the same for saying thanks.

Thanks.