Sunday, November 13, 2011

We're going to ooooooovertime

Hilary on her due date. You can see the impatience behind the eyes.
Today is November 13, 2011. I am sad to report that our baby is still, as of this writing, resting comfortably in Hilary's belly.

As Hilary likes to say, this baby is already taking after me, waiting until the last minute to get anything done.

People say that having a baby can be very stressful. Well you know what? NOT having a baby when you are expecting one to show up can be pretty damn stressful as well.

We are two days past the due date, and Hilary is partially convinced that our son is going to stay in the womb until it's time to start writing essays for college applications. I think she bought him an SAT prep book at Barnes and Noble today.

This is bad. For me, I mean. Let me explain.

Like my father, I only bet when I know I'm right*. I will often make wagers for large sums (cash or otherwise) when I am so convinced I will win that I care not the consequences of losing.

*This has gotten me in trouble before. Bekah Page, you know what I'm talking about. You asked for it, you got it. Toyota.

Hilary has been worrying for months that our child would decide to hang around past his due date.

Hilary, love of my life that she is, has a tendency to worry about things that never come to fruition. Even though I knew the statistics saying that many first-time preggos deliver after their due date, I still felt like this was another example of her assuming something to be that was not to be.

I had to get in while the getting was good, so I bet Hilary that the kid would come early or on time.

In the immortal words of Rick Perry: "I'm a moron who should never be President."**

**Or maybe it's "Oops."

As you can see, here we are on the 13th, and we are still sans infant, so thanks to his tardiness I'm out a new band for her wedding ring***.

***Junior, as soon as you can walk we're getting you a part-time job to help pay it off.

It's ok though. Our little bundle of joy will be here soon enough, and then all will be right with the world.

Also, I'm going double or nothing on #2.

1 comment:

McCalla Hill said...

I was 12 days late. I would tell you all the things people told me like "enjoy the time you have with one another it will never be this easy again" or "babys come when their supposed to they are always right on time" or some other such BS. But I am close enough to remember that I didn't give a damn about any of that, every closet in my house was clean and I wanted my baby! So, instead I will say I hope he shows up ASAP. :-)