Wednesday, June 29, 2011

20 Weeks


Hilary at 20 weeks
After we hit the 12-week mark and began to share the news with friends and family, there was really nothing much to look forward to until our 20-week appointment, when we would have the ultrasound that would tell us the sex of our future child.

That appointment is tomorrow. All the anticipation and appointments so far have been like watching a movie version of our life from the sidelines. We are now about to find out the sex of our child, and then it starts to get real.

My internal monologue has been pretty interesting over the past few weeks. I have these little conversations with myself every few days, that seem not very far off from a scene in Good Will Hunting:

"You are having a baby."*
"Yeah, I know."
"I know, but seriously. This baby is happening."
"Yeah, I know."
"NO. SERIOUSLY. IN FIVE MONTHS YOU ARE GOING TO BE A POTENTIAL TARGET FOR HUMAN FECES ON A DAILY BASIS."

*When you talk to yourself in your brain, do you address yourself as "You" or "I"? Or do you even say your name? I think I normally say you, unless, like in real life, I am trying to make an important point. "Micah, you have GOT to get your car's AC fixed, it's 100 #@^& degrees outside."

As I have stated before, I am certain we are having a girl. We will be happy with whatever we get, of course, and it's not like one will really be any different or better than the other. Each sex comes with its own problems.

As I see it, you really want a daughter, up until she's about 11-12 years old. Then never again.

For a boy, you really don't want one until they reach 11-12. Then they're pretty much cool after that.**

**Here's a short breakdown:

Boy Issues, pre-age 12:

Learning to own and operate a penis
Propensity for damage to objects, animate (self, others)
Propensity for damage to objects, inanimate (THAT BASEBALL CARD YOU JUST RIPPED WAS WORTH $1,000, JUNIOR)

Boy Issues, post-age 12:
Wrap it up tight

Girl issues, pre-age 12:
Stop being so cute all the time or grandpa will have a heart attack!

Girl issues, post-age 12:
Dealing with Friends
Dealing with Enemies
Dealing with Frenemies
Dealing with Enemiends
Body issues caused by every magazine/TV show/movie on the planet
Keeping various body parts off the Internet

Tomorrow, the last piece of the puzzle comes into play, and then we will really start imagining what life is going to be like once he/she is born.

This is really happening.