Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Breaking news: Hilary will deliver baby in hospital after taking it easy

There is a great Chris Rock line from one of his stand-up specials (I believe Bigger and Blacker) where he says (and I'm paraphrasing): "You can drive a car with your feet if you want to -- that don't make it a good fucking idea!"

I am reminded of this line today because it seems like some women out there have gotten this notion in their head that having a baby isn't enough of an achievement. It isn't difficult enough, apparently, to push a newborn through your lady parts* -- you have to add a little spice into the gumbo.

*They went over all this in birthing class, but it left my brain almost immediately thereafter.

In case you missed it, last weekend a woman ran the Chicago Marathon while 39 weeks pregnant, then gave birth to a daughter several hours later.

This morning I read about an artist who plans on installing the birth of her first child as an art exhibit** at a gallery in Brooklyn.

**What hipsters are going to see this exhibit? 

I am not here to judge these two ladies' choices. I imagine both care about the health of their baby*** a great deal. It's just hard to imagine doing anything that might make a complicated and taxing process even more so. Our idea of spicing up Hilary's labor is not packing a bag for the hospital until two weeks before the due date (and even that sounds unlikely).

***Running a marathon would seem the more obvious way to inflict physical harm on an infant, but I'm thinking being born in an art gallery would do more long-term psychological damage.

As humans, we seem predisposed to testing the limits of our capabilities, and in many ways it is that spirit that has transformed us as a species. Where we were once cave dwellers, now we are free to stare at TV and computer screens every waking hour. We've come so far.

I'm all for pushing ourselves to do the impossible, but I think Rock may be right on this one -- this don't seem like a good fucking idea at all.

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