Junk in the trunk

What are you talking about Dad, there's plenty of room for luggage in there!

There are many things I never thought I would do in preparation for having a child. Taking a breastfeeding class is probably one*. Repainting a room that was already a boy color (blue) -- that's definitely one.

* We have taken two classes in preparation for childbirth/rearing, and both involved ample images of women's naked breasts. It seems to me the hospitals providing the classes expect us to be adults about it, and outwardly I try to be ... but there is definitely a part of my brain that is still directing my eyes towards them like a sniper taking aim. I may be having a child, but it's clear to me I still haven't grown up.

Cleaning out my car? I didn't think I'd do that for anyone, let alone an infant. After all, who's he going to complain to? But I'm trying to start fresh here, so I set about to clean out my Camry for the first time since I moved to Atlanta in 2004. Oh who am I kidding -- this is the first true cleaning for this car since I got the damn thing in the summer of 2002**.

**What is wrong with me, you ask? It's not just that I'm messy, or even that I'm lazy, though I'm certainly both. It's more that I am ... unaware. If I took two seconds to look at the state of my car I might have done something about it at some point, but it honestly just never crossed my mind. If someone said to me, "What are you doing to do about the mess in your car?", I'd probably stare blankly at them like they'd just asked me what's the best method for growing cherry tomatoes.

I suppose I have cleaned bits and pieces of the interior of the car over the years for the sake of my passengers, but the one area that has been almost completely untouched, save a bunch of sporting goods, is my trunk. Junk, there be in my trunk.

And what useless crap completely necessary items did I find while cleaning it out this weekend?

Take a look: