Demitri Martin is a swell guy

Let me start with this. I am a smart guy, but I'm more gullible than I care to admit. I'll get back to that in a minute.

A year or so before I got married, I was planning to go see a Demitri Martin show in Atlanta with my brother in law Will and my friend Michael. At the last minute I had to cancel, which was a bummer because I am a big fan of his comedy and was excited to see him.

Will and Michael, the ungrateful schmucks, went to the show without me. So much for solidarity. They must have felt bad about it though, because to cheer me up they brought home a poster from the concert, signed by Martin himself. I thought this was pretty cool.

MVP (Most Valuable Possession)

Time has faded the writing, but Martin wrote simply: "Thanks for not coming to my show, you dick" and signed his name.

I wish I'd seen that show, but honestly that poster was an excellent consolation prize. I liked it so much that I put it up in my cubicle at work, dirty word be damned.

Fast forward to our wedding weekend. The night before the big day, Will and Michael spilled the beans. That poster that I enjoyed so much, that I made sure to point out to visitors to my workspace, was nothing but a sham. A falsehood. A SHANDA.

Michael, who to be clear is not a professional comedian known for clever one-liners, was actually the author of the note. Come to think of it, I'm beginning to wonder if he and Will made up the poster as well. Like I said, I'm gullible.

A good chuckle was had by all, and that was the end of that. Except it wasn't. I wanted something. It wasn't exactly revenge I was after, but maybe a comeuppance? Yeah, a comeuppance would do nicely.

A few years passed, and Michael met a nice young lady foolish enough to marry him. Once they announced their engagement, I knew exactly what I wanted to give them for their wedding present. I was going to get Demitri Martin to autograph a picture of them and frame it, for realsies this time.

I figured Demitri was (is) a comic, would appreciate the amusing nature of the situation, and help a brother out. Unfortunately, I didn't know Demetri or anyone else who did, and his website did not make his contact information readily available except to book him for a show. Frankly, I don't like Michael enough to take the joke that far. I was stumped, and so their wedding came and went. Oh well. They'd have to settle for napkins rings or Bengals coozies.

Then a few months later, literally within a few hours of each other, I learned of two facts:

Fact 1. Michael and Bree were coming to visit Atlanta that upcoming weekend.

Fact 2. Demitri Martin was doing a surprise show in Atlanta THAT VERY NIGHT.

It was fate. This time, I made sure to be in attendance, and I brought a few things with me.

The show was great, and afterwards Will (who tagged along) and I waited patiently while Demitri signed autographs, waiting to find our chance to approach. When it got to our turn, I went for it.

"Excuse me, Demitri. I know you have a line formed here, but do you have time for a quick story?"

He was kind enough to hear me out, so I launched into the specifics. I explained the missed concert, the poster with his alleged signature, how I proudly displayed it at work like an asshole, and the reveal of the hoax at my wedding. I like to think he was amused, but maybe people forge his signature on posters all the time. He is famous after all.

In the end he heard me out and was kind enough to acquiesce to my requests. First, he corrected the much-maligned poster:

The fake signature on the left, Demitri's real signature on the right.

Then he added the coup de grace, the one thing I'd sought after for over a year:

"Great going plagiarizing me. My lawyers will be in touch - Demitri"

Amazing. I thanked Demitri for his time, snapped a quick photo to prove some legitimacy (let's just say I expected some skepticism), and that weekend presented my friends their wedding present.

Not photoshopped. 

Is there a moral to this story? Probably not. But I did learn that Demitri Martin is a pretty swell guy (though perhaps a little hard to get ahold of), and I learned to never take any famous person's signature at face value unless I witness it firsthand. You can never be too careful. And you can be too gullible.